After having my son Syfy, I had become completely attached. I was starting to tell myself that maybe I did not need the surgery, but I deep down I knew that I was just filling my head with delusions to cope with the situation. The thought of having to leave my infant for two whole weeks was devastating to me. When Syfy turned three months old, I had to quit breastfeeding him because I was about to have my long awaited spinal cord surgery. I hadn't thought how hard it was going to be to wean Syfy from my breast at three months old. I got hormonal surges that made me feel incredibly guilty for quitting breastfeeding and I would randomly cry because of it. I knew in my heart, that it was normal and not my fault, but that knowledge did not stop the tears from coming. I managed to deal with the loss, but it affected me deeply, none the less. Continue reading
Reeling from the miracle that I had been given (in the previous post), I had no idea just how much one little baby could totally change my path in life. As I went through surgery after surgery, I hadn't really been given the chance to figure out who I really was outside of the girl who was always having medical issues. Every time that I started going to school again, I was interrupted with more surgeries. My studies would, yet again, be put on hold. It was expensive having surgeries. I couldn't afford both going to school and paying all of my medical bills, so I had to give up the one that wouldn't kill me if I let it go.
It's funny what can happen when you close your eyes and mentally will a miracle to happen, but forget to be specific about the miracle that you are looking for. If there is one thing that I have learned over the years, it's to be very specific in what you ask for because you never know what you might get otherwise! My life has been full of miracles medically, but the miracle that I experienced in 2009 was the BIGGEST surprise that totally changed my life forever. Continue reading
I was rushing through the last post. I feel like I blocked many of my memories from that surgery because of the pain that I experienced immediately afterward. I must add an addendum to the people that came to visit me for “Thanksgiving Star Wars in the Hospital day”. Two family friends came to visit me with my family that day; Jerry Ness and Brian Schmuck. Brian brought me socks and real Cajun shrimp from Louisiana. Yes. I totally remember that he brought me Cajun shrimp as a gift because it was the TASTIEST darn shrimp that I have ever eaten. These two guys have been like Uncles to me from an early age, and it really means a lot to me that they have always shown up for me when I needed family the most. Continue reading
Sometimes our downfalls come from the very same reasons that people call us heroes. If you push too far or too hard, you can ruin everything that you have worked for. I have learned first-hand, that there is a very fine line between heroism and surviving. Sometimes we learn these lessons the hard way, pushing just a little bit further until something breaks. Other times we get lucky and are given a mild slap on the wrist to scare us down off the ledge. Here I was experiencing the latter. Thank goodness I was lucky this time.
I have been asked many times in my life if given the chance, would I change all that I have been through just to be normal and pain-free. My answer has ALWAYS been the same; a very adamant “NO!”. If I had not been given these wonderful rare chances to test my perseverance, I would have never discovered my amazing capabilities. I would have never fallen in love with myself. I wouldn't have found myself down the path that I am on now, and possibly wouldn't have even discovered my love of blogging, herbs, and essential oils. That would be a real bummer, to say the least! These little tidbits are just pieces of the puzzle of how I survived. Strength, will, attitude. They all made a difference in the outcome of my story. All of the seemingly negative things that have happened to me in my life, were the cause of all the greater things that have come to be true. I am EXACTLY who I am RIGHT NOW because of EXACTLY who I was YESTERDAY.
I feel like all of the miracles that I have experienced so far in my life, were due to my positive thoughts as well as my never-ending ability to believe in myself. I didn't realize it at the time, but the reason that I was able to come out of this battle with my head above water, was because I told myself that I could. That's what this entire story boils down to. I knew that I could do it. Whatever it was that I needed to accomplish, I knew that I would find a way to survive. I am like that little engine that could, constantly saying to myself “I KNOW I can, I KNOW I can, I KNOW I can!” The most important and difficult moments in my life have come down to that one little saying, “I KNOW I CAN!” Continue reading
I didn't start down this hippy path from birth. I have always been a hippy at heart, wanting to save the planet and the animals within it. I have always loved to hug trees and sit in a forest bathing in the energy that all the trees together, give off. I didn't, however, grow up with an understanding of health through what I ate, the pills I popped, or even the bath and beauty products that I slathered all over my body. I had no idea that I even needed to worry about these simple items that I bought from the grocery store. Like many people, I had assumed that these products had to be safe to be sold off the shelves. It wouldn't be until I was an adult and already dealing with constant illness, that I would learn just how closely related to one another health, diet, and living environment is.